Just got back off hols and no holiday romance I’m afraid. Last year I met a guy from Holland called Sasha and had a drunken snog. Stupidly gave him my phone number and when he called I had to pretend I couldn’t understand him. Wasn’t far from the truth to be honest. And the year before that I slept (almost anyway, he couldn’t get it up, so we just rolled around the bed a bit) with a fit English builder who was having a week’s hols with his idiot mates.
This year I couldn’t be bothered. There’s something a bit naff about a holiday romance. In fact, there’s no romance involved; it’s usually a holiday shag or a holiday fumble. Hard earth moving. As me and my three mates strolled through one of the more lively areas of southern Spain we were put off by the number of English yobs pushing to the bar, stumbling around like drunken fools and asking women if they could feel their boobs. Just so they could check if they were real or not, you understand. Class.
The four of us had a relatively chilled holiday which included not one hangover. I got drunk a couple of times, but not madly so (still scarred by this experience I think and don’t EVER want to repeat it) and we generally just chilled in the sun and worked hard on our tans.
I did get one snog, kinda, if you can call it that. Us girlies were about to pile into a taxi when a drunken guy asked us for directions to somewhere we’d never heard of. His accent suggested he was from Birmingham or Wolverhampton and I commented as such. “Miles away,” he said. He was clearly lying. Then he leaned in, asked me what I was doing tomorrow and told me to come find him on the beach. He leaned in for a kiss, our lips touched and I pulled away. This guy was actually very cute but he was plastered. There was no way he would remember me if I strolled up and tapped him on the shoulder the next morning and pulled a sun lounger next to his. Random.
So, no holiday romance for any of us. Best Mate (BM) is seeing a guy at home anyway and has been for three or so months, although she’s not calling him her boyfriend yet. She’s too scared to have the boyfriend/girlfriend talk in case he runs a mile but is fed up with being the one organising dates and texting first. We rehearsed a few lines and suggested they both got drunk before she broached the subject.
Mate number 2, LJ, is also seeing someone back home. She lives in England, he lives in Wales, which is a bit of a problem and they’ve only seen each other twice. But he seems normal and she seems interested. They met at a work event and I think they’re hooking up next week. Am impressed they’re making the effort but the negative (or realstic?) in me thinks it may not be a sustainable relationship with so many miles between them.
Mate number 3 is actually one of LJ’s mates but I’ve met her a few times. She’s cool and she’s single; even cooler, we’re a dying breed.
As for me, the only flicker of romance in my life is a guy I met at a buddy’s wedding a couple of weeks ago. Read more in my next blog post…
