Okay, I am panicking big style ‘cos I have absolutely no idea how I feel about the new guy I’ve been dating. I only saw him on Saturday and when he text me on Monday morning (he’d text a lot on Sunday too) asking what I was doing after work ‘cos he wanted to pop round and see me, my instant reaction was to think err, God no.
I stretched the truth a little and said my sporting commitment that evening would last two hours when it was actually 90 mins. Lie number one. And that I’d be going there straight from work. Lie number two. The thing is, I wouldn’t have much time between work and sport to get home, get changed, eat and run out the door anyway, so a man would have been an unwelcome distraction. And when I return home I’m usually a sweaty mess and no man, at this early stage in the dating game, is prepared for that.
I kinda fobbed him off a bit and said something about patience being a virtue and him having to wait until Saturday to see me – which is when date number three is planned. But I’ve just been checking his Facebook page and some girl has written on his wall complimenting him on his new profile pic and signing it with a kiss. I felt this jealous rage well up inside. Unreasonable or what!
So what exactly do I feel? Have I been single so long that dating is just so foreign to me that I’m a bit numb to it? But aren’t I supposed to jump up and down with excitement at the prospect of a guy that’s interested in me? And does it mean I don’t like him enough because I’m as yet unsure. Confused.com! Totally!
I first thought that you were supposed to get fireworks and you’d be desperate to see that person all the time. But I’ve grown up a bit and realised that it’s not like that for everyone and sometimes love grows. I am attracted to this guy, defo, but personality-wise I’m not 100 per cent. But I barely know the guy and feel I should give him a chance. And I’m so used to my own company that I sometimes don’t know what to do in the company of new people. Maybe I’ll make more of an effort when I’m round his place, on his territory, ‘cos my private space and time won’t be invaded so obviously.
Talk about mixed emotions. I don’t know if I’m coming or going. I guess only time will tell. I need to get to know this guy better… and at least give him a name for the purpose of this blog. Hmmm, let’s call him Big Guy.
